Area Man Finds Hidden Cache
An unidentified area man was cajoled into hunting for a themed geo cache which he had no personal interest in discovering. After weeks of prodding from online acquaintances in a digital forum related to a video game, the man agreed to ride his motorcycle to a lagoon and poke around in some bushes. His journey […]
PAX 2020
As it turns out. PAX did not stand for Programming Airwave Xcitement. The radio broadcasting conference we thought we were attending was actually a video game convention. No one at Utopitech understands how we managed to register for a radio conference that doesn’t exist, they blamed the error on a faulty algorithm of some kind. […]
Missing Records Have Been Accounted For
We apologize for our hasty reporting of stolen albums from our radio station. It turns out that the missing vinyl was not pilfered from our collection, but intentionally winnowed down in new station updates. Some staff are having a difficult time with the “spring cleaning” of the record collection. But, check it out, their loss […]
Area Man Makes Grand Romantic Gesture And Immediately Regrets It
An area man, who asked to remain anonymous, admitted this morning that he thinks he may have gotten a little too caught up in the romance of the holiday weekend. “I’ve always loved romance. I love the idea of love. And… I don’t know, I was just thinking about Valentine’s Day and I guess I […]
See You in Boston?
The KQVR crew is excited to announce that we’ll be traveling to Boston at the end of this month for the Programming Airwaves Xcitement convention. We’ve heard really amazing testimonials from other radio stations about how attending this radio broadcasting convention really infused their station with new energy. Traveling to attend this convention is one […]
Vinyl Collection Goes Missing From KQVR
It is with great sadness that we announce that many of us here at the station have lost faith in humanity. We recently discovered that several of our favorite records have gone missing from KQVR’s collection. While these albums have no commercial value, they are irreplaceable. Many of the records were created by obscure artists […]
Utopitech Algorithm Detects An Opportunity
The Utopitech algorithm recently reported a sharp increase in visitors to the KQVR news blog. Welcome to all our new readers! While we can’t divulge precisely how many people are reading this blog on a daily basis, we can assure you that it is enough for Utopitech executives to insist that we add advertising to […]
Area Man Spends Months of His Life Searching for Dirty Words in ASCII Images
Area man and recent retiree, Mel Unkolie, admits he has spent several months of his life looking for secret messages in ASCII images. “I used to look at ASCII images from time to time, and my wife always asked me, ‘Do you have any idea how much of your life you’ve wasted staring at those […]
Area Woman Hides in Bathroom at a Party.
Party goers became concerned last week, when area woman, Tildy Layshun, could not be found at the end of the night. “We were all having such a great time that I guess I didn’t notice when she disappeared,” said Layshun’s long-term boyfriend Ben Ajurck. Layshun’s friends walked the perimeter of the party searching for her. […]
Area Man Collects Teeth for “Art.”
Area man, Austen Tayshus, put out a request today on several community message boards for donations of human teeth. Police, seeing the request, became concerned and investigated, only to discover that Tayshus thinks of himself as an “Artist.” “As far as we can tell he’s harmless,” said police sergeant, Richard Throb, “He says he makes […]
Area Man Spends Seven Hours Picking Out Socks
They say “Back To School” season can increase anxiety by up to 27% for youth between the ages of eight and nineteen. But a new hire at HayStack middle school says he thinks teachers have under-reported levels of stress. “My first day on the job as an 8th grade science teacher, I showed up for […]